So, lyssie and splash_the_cat have gone ranty pants about teh eval fic. With good reason, I'm sure. But to be *really* sure,
I couldn't finish it because I couldn't move past the first paragraph. Laughing. Too. Much. It just made me howl. Anyone ever feel that bad smut (yes, it's eval fic, but also bad smut to boot), is usually just written by some poor soul who couldn't think of something original, so they just whipped out their Magnetic Poetry - Sex Edition and strung a few words together?
Okay, I can prove it to you:
Take Teh Eval Fic in question, and we'll make magnetic poetry units out of it. Let's use this sooper dooper handy generator:
(here I've pasted the fic to a fake journal, so the generator can work)
So the generator pulls out a few dozen words, and now you get to drag them around and play with it. Like this:
See? Pretty simple. It's all how you look at it. Now I have taken the first paragraph of Teh Eval Fic and turned it into a lovely lovely touching, moving Jack/Thor fic:
Right-o! Easy as wank! See, anyone can do it!
Oh Jack! You're so classy!
Now, we just have to assume that Thor has all these parts. And because he is the Supreme Commander, we can rightfully assume that he is the daddy mac.
Oh Jack, us too!
See? This is all possible when you've got a little box that controls time. You can now buy time delineators in all the really classy sex catalogs.
We just have to also assume Thor has lips. Which he does, because he is the SUPREME COMMANDER.
OH EM GEE!!!?!?@!2?#!11!!!! Thor is a fucking REPLICATOR!!!! GAH.
Not knowing this, Jack continues in his Thor lovin...
...it will probably not end well. Especially after Jack's "disobedient" knees senses that THOR is FIFTH in DISGUISE. Eeeeep!!!!
Jack is so incoherent with lust, he loses all sense of grammar.
*happy shippy sigh*